No tree huggers here

Today is Dr. Suess' birthday. Happy birthday, Theodore! Our family's claim to fame? My dad once cleaned the carpets at Dr. Suess' house. Yep, that was us. Let me tell you, all those beetles battling in bottles can leave some mess, and let's just not discuss what happens to a poodle when it eats noodles, shall we?

In honor of Dr. Suess and one of their favorite Suess books, Fox In Sox, the girls came up with a new tongue twister, and it's a doozie. Baby booger burgers. Baby booger burgers. Baby booger burgers. Geesh, just typing it gets my fingers in a tizzie.

Anyways, it's also Nevada Reading Week. The kindergartners in N's school celebrate this week by dressing up paper dolls as a character in one of their favorite books, preferably something most kids know. Shhhhh! It's a secret what character you make! The dolls are hidden away in these very-oversized envelopes, and we write three clues to help the class guess what character it is. At the end, the doll is revealed to much ooohing and ahhing (in the parental mind) over how creative is your child.

The character N picked was a great character. I was very happy with her choice. The dress-up would be easy but creative. Everyone will know THIS character, and they'll just go gaga over the crocheted mustache that N made*. My mind raced with wicked Suessian clues, N came up with ideas, it was an exercise in excitement.

I volunteered in the classroom the day they did her doll.

First clue: "My fish couldn't hum and my birds could not sing, so I sent them away on their fin and their wing."

Not a kid raised his or her hand to guess. Huh, well, it was rather cryptic, and the first clue was supposed to be the hardest.

Second Clue: "My barbaloots are hungry, they don't need a Thneed, what they really dearly want is a truffula seed."

Some kid guessed Sleeping Beauty. I'm starting to panic - N is doomed to the nerd clique.

Third clue: "I speak for the trees! I speak for the trees! Which everyone, everyone EVERYONE needs!**"

The teacher prompted the class, saying it was a Dr. Suess character. A FAMOUS Dr. Suess character. Another kid guessed the Cat in the Hat.

Sigh. Apparantly no one cares about the Lorax 'round here. A childhood hero of mine, gone the way of his swammee swans, barbaloots, and humming fish. I nearly expected the school walls to be emblazoned "UNLESS" on my way out the door. I was crestfallen, my dear daughter would now be antagonized by people asking her what kind of leftist drivel does her mom read her.

N? She was thrilled she stumped the class.

It's all about perspective, I guess.

* Yes, she did (help) crochet the mustache. She loved it so much we now have regular mom-and-N crocheting time. It would help if I remembered more than a simple chain stitch, but that's ok, the chains are difficult enough for her.

** If you can't guess this by now, then what are you doing at this blog? Shouldn't you be seeing what Pat Robertson has to say today?***

*** Ok, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reprimanded you. Some people have bad days. I have days I can't remember to open the garage door as I back out onto the driveway. It's ok. Hey, maybe you never read The Lorax. That's ok, too. We can't read all the great literature out there. But, seriously, you need to get out more.