In which I still fail to get drunk

Now, see, this illustrates a concern I have with white-bread ethnocentric America.



The map shows the recognized boundaries of North American countries circa 1847. Yes, folks, California, Arizona, Colorado, and even, indeed, Texas did once belong to Mexico, and before that Spain, and before that various Native American nations. And let’s not forget that once, even Russia had vested interests in 1800’s western North America south of the 54th parallel.

Apparently, some folks ‘round these parts are up in arms that a capitalist, free-economy company dared to advertise to their market audience in Mexico with an historically accurate cartographic representation of North America about 150 years ago. Hey, we weren’t always all about Mom, apple pie, and Arab land-holdings. Once, we were just along the eastern seaboard, you know, where all those Liberals live. Texas, folks, remember the Alamo? Yah, hey, you remember it because Texas was part of MEXICO, lads. What, you thought Davy Crockett and Jim Bowie were tryin’ to build a fence to keep the wetbacks out? I don’t see the Guyanan’s all atizzy because they aren’t shown separated from Venezuela on the map, either, but we all know they’re lazy communist cocaine growers anyways, right?

Now, aside from the very rare rum-laced concoction, I don’t drink alcohol, and I wouldn’t be drinking vodka should I ever decide to imbibe more. So, I’m not about to start driving under the influence just to show solidarity towards North American-historically-informed Swedes and thumb my nose at Americans ignorant of their own freakin’ history. Instead, I’ll just complain and grumble here. I’m all for getting more drunks off the road and into a more functional, rational lifestyle, so I encourage these misanthropes to go ahead with their boycott and stop drinking Absolut vodka. I rally them to go even further and stop drinking their imported Mexican tequila, Canadian beer, English ale, French wine, and Japanese sake. While they’re at it, why not stop guzzling the homegrown moonshine and Bud Light. Maybe they’ll get a clear enough head to pick up a book and LEARN something.