Waiting game

I'm in ArcGIS Hell right now. That special Hell where you have lots to do, little time, and the network is rrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeealllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyy slow. So, while I w.a.i.t. for one of 80 new and unique maps to generate an .rtl file so I can move to the next new and unique of 80 maps, I'll chat.

Come on. Get a chair.

You may think, "But I already have a chair. I'm at a computer, you ninny." But I know, being one, that there are some folks out there that don't manage the luxory of a chair at the computer. We may turn it on in passing from the kitchen to the laundry with an armful of tea towels, connect to the net on the way back to check on what that burning smell is (yes, dial-up at home. More money for the college fund, I convince myself. Curse you You-Tube!), and "surf" a page at a time a chore at a time. The chair we do have for that computer is conveniently missing a dowel, so is ready to collapse at a moment's notice. Which means, I have even more of an incentive to get my flabby toned butt working around the house.

Oh, good, that .rtl file is done. But it still waits another two minutes before it lets me actually print the bastard. Wait while I make another..... there, that wasn't so long, was it?

I could babble on about politics, or whole wheat recipes, or drunken fruit bats, but I really can't pass up on my favorite pasttime, turtle races.

Ahhhh, the glorious smell of creosote in the air as the tortoises run from wash to wash. The raucous betting environment as biologists wager their meager earnings on where Tortoise #728 will be found this time. The flying spit and urgent grunts of the coursers as they battle the talus slopes. Truly, the sport of kings.

Forgoing the talus for open sea, this race still has all the hallmarks of biologists looking to unmarginalize their profession. Websites, sponsors, celebrity nomenclature, endangered species, it has it all. I mean, those guys who named an owl louse after Gary Larson? I think it was just the lack of bandwidth that spared them from instant stardom.

Crap. Now my .rtl's are coming out with nothing in them. Nothing like waiting fifteen minutes for zip. Like, this blog. Waiting for something exceptional, and just getting crap. Welcome to my week.