Sunday, October 02, 2005

Barbie vs. Sleeping Beauty

Barbie and Sleeping Beauty shared my bath today, along with N. As is the custom, whether in a bath or not, they were disrobed. I was able to look at them with an analytical eye and compare two toy designers' ideas of Ultimate Female Form (the UFF factor).

Now, I know this is like asking who would you rather have for President: Bush Jr. or Cheney. Neither UFF is realistic, and neither should be used as a goal for anyone's body type. But I'll tell you this, Sleeping Beauty can kick Barbie's ass.

Barbie vs Sleeping Beauty

Look at that chest! My god, she's got a set of lungs on her. And I mean lungs, not those large glands over them. Sleeping beauty, along with inhumanly sized doe-like eyes, has a linebacker's chest. And hips, for that matter. Aside from stick arms and legs sure to snap in the first scrum, she could start for any NFL team. Ok, maybe just the Bengals, but she'd have a decent shot.

Barbie, in comparison, looks positively human. Hips, waist, median breast-height diameter of more normal proportions. Her UFF in comparison to the Princess' made me almost think Matell had listened to outraged moms trying to convince their anorexic daughters with poor body-image that they, indeed, were more UFF than any doll.

Maybe the Disney designers have the idea - make the look too unsapienesque to be taken remotely seriously.

Either way, don't mess with Sleeping Beauty. She'll whoop your ass.

5 Comments:

At 1:47 PM, October 02, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not certain where Cheney would fit in here, but ok, sounds good to give him a turn at the presidency. Nice Barbie piece, too.

'80 Reagan
'84 Reagan
'88 Bush
'92 Blight
'96 Mistake - we should have known better
'00 W
'04 W
'08 Jeb
'12 Jeb
'16 Neil
'20 Neil
'24 Marvin
'28 Marvin
'32 Condi
'36 Condi
'40 Jenna
'44 Jenna
'48 Barbara
'52 Barbara

http://randysworldview.blogspot.com/

 
At 1:58 PM, October 02, 2005, Blogger Katherine Zander said...

Oh, if that were the case, Ms. Lasak, then marauding teams of Disney Princesses are the least of our worries.

 
At 7:11 PM, October 02, 2005, Blogger eric said...

hey, you do know the bengals are 4-0, right? ;)

if you want to see disproportionate female bodies that are completely based in unreality ... read a comic book. trust me, i grew up on those things.

no wonder comic geeks don't have girlfriends. their standards are too high!

e+

 
At 7:39 PM, October 02, 2005, Blogger Katherine Zander said...

Eric - If it's not that the comic geeks' standards are too high, then it's that *actual* women see those comic books too and get a slimey feeling about it all. With mouth agape, they aren't thinking about how they wish they looked that way so they could attract a comic geek! An overt fascination with a 6 inch waist and 46" chests stuffed into a g-string and dominatrix garb is, frankly, creepy. Which describes nearly any adolescent teenage boy ;)

Although, I'm not so sure that's any worse than Becky and Veronica.

I had no idea the Bengals were doing well! Having grown up in Columbus, Ohio during the Big Red Machine, by association I tried to hold out hope for the Bengals but always was let down. They wasted Archie Griffen, the bastards. If there's hope for the Bengals, then there may be hope for comic book geeks ; )

 
At 6:40 PM, October 03, 2005, Blogger eric said...

well, they might still let you down but ... just remember this phrase and people will think you've kept up with your team ...

"carson palmer to chad johnson for ANOTHER touchdown!"

e+

 

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