In which I find I am not the farthest outlier on the bellcurve of normalcy
For the past, oh, nine months or so the Big Feet household has been pondering homeschooling. There are various reasons for this. I made a big, long, boring list, which upon rereading, meant nothing other than to myself and my family. Suffice it to say, school violence, ineptitude, culture, and fantastical dreams of happy, fulfilled, vibrant kids dancing through fascinating home-based learning opportunities have brought us to this decision. All but the latter are very real. The trailer is just a dream, which I'm sure will be squashed with the first, "But I don't WANT to write an essay on twelfth-century Welsh royalty!" complaint. Still, that's got to be better than the already achieved "But I don't WANT to do this boring, repetitive, unreasonable homework I already know how to do!" complaint.
So, with the public school year over (and the ground squirrels dropped off at the local wildernessy park hopefully close enough to humans to discourage many wild predators and far enough away from homes to discourage house cats), after daydreaming of homeschooling for months, I am now faced with the stomach-churning reality of actually having to do it. At first, I thought perhaps my recent-and-not-quite-finished bout with yawning in technicolor/praying to the Porcelain God/feeding the fishies/general gastronomical malaise was due to my having to actually *make* the decision as opposed to just thinking and daydreaming about the decision. Now, two of the Tarsals are in similar discomfort. So, with some abashed relief that my body isn't trying to tell me I'm making a terrible mistake, I return to finding more about homeschool curricula.
The first thing about homeschooling I found out with actual research, instead of just my own biases and prejudices based on gossip, heresay, and a few honestly-hip folks I know who do homeschool, is that my own biases and prejudices are to a reasonably large extent justified. Most homeschool sites, playgroups and curricula I have found have not just a decidedly Christian bent to them, but even a militant Christian bent to them. A homeschoolers convention set to take place nearby next week has not only featured speakers expounding the virtues of bringing God into all your works, but also a few lectures on the Second Amendment. That was new to me - I can now add to my prejudicial list of homeschooler traits the thought that homeschoolers belong to militant compounds. Yah, that's right, every. last. one. of. them. Those cool hip homeschool folks I already know obviously haven't read the memos.
As a Paganish Humanist, full-time working mom with a stay-at-home-husband, in a male-dominated field, with a zoology B.Sc. AND an MBA, I was already feeling quite marginalized before I became determined (sort-of)to homeschool my kids for a better-rounded, safer, more interesting and comprehensive education. This isn't like having a zit in junior high and feeling like a freak, I really am an outlier, at least, in my neck of the world. Then, to find I am even *more* of a freak in the world of what much of polite society (from my observations) view as social misfits that homeschool, well, that's a bit much for my fragile ego.
So, I was very relieved to find an even farther outlier than myself the other day while searching for secular homeschoolers. Doc's Sunrise Rants is a current blog by not only a secular homeschooler, but a retired, liberal, molecular biologist, agrarian lesbian homeschooler at that! Really, though, aside from the feeling of relief of having a little company on this end of the bellcurve (working, heterosexual, macrobiologist who only dreams of a llama farm though that I am), she addresses some of my concerns in a personal way, and she has a great list of resources that I will attempt to find some time on which to graze. There are a few other secular homeschool sites, but many of them have not been updated for over a year. Not to say that The Iliad ever goes out of style, but links and resources do come and go, so Doc's extensive lists are (irony intended) a Godsend. Thanks, Doc. My tummy feels a bit better.
More on this later, I'm sure. Life speaks, as do three little girls.
Labels: secular homeschooling, tummy aches
posted by Katherine Zander @ 9:17 AM
26 comments
26 Comments:
Wow! I stand (or rather sit) in awe at your courage. I would love for my family to homeschool but can't figure out how the spouse and I would find the time to do it.
I must laugh, Katharine. What one considers courageous, another finds a necessity. Remember the lady who had a baby in a tree while waiting out the tsunami floodwaters? I imagine she reacts to folks' calling her courageous with a stark look and reply, "What else was I supposed to do?" Now, I won't deign to say homeschooling is as urgent as the need to push no matter what bed you find yourself in, but I don't consider it a measure of courage. Still, I will take the compliment, and the encouragement, with the thanks I am accustomed to giving you.
I wonder about time myself. Big Foot says he doesn't have the time to do most things domestic (and it shows!), so I wonder where he will find the time for teaching. Then again, homeschooling, I think, can be something much different than the typical sit-at-the-desk-and-learn-by-rote that most of us 'mericans are used to. I worry most about getting the concepts that the "regular" students cover, like sentence structure (and run-on sentences, LOL! Obviously, I missed that day in school!) and binomials. But we have guidance from the school district on what students should be able to do by the end of each grade, so that's a help. In true biologist fashion, I feel the need to research, research, research this more. We're going to try it this summer to see how it goes. If we find it impossible, we'll just keep going to our local school. I do think, however, that this will give us, or at least *me*, more time to do what I want. We won't have homework to deal with eating up our evening time, or strict time schedules to meet messing with other plans of the day or week. We'll see!
Hi-found you through Doc-I live in that "nearby" area, and we are not ALL Christian, though the options are definitely limited.I am not attending that "inclusive" convention. Anyway, am homeschooling an almost 5 year old, and can make some recommendations if you are interested.
I promise, we're not all crazy. Though, the term may be relative. If you look hard enough there are plenty of us out there, we're just not as vocal about it.
Hi,
Funny, when I became a secular homeschooler, Doc's page of links was my first "secular" find. And, like you, I have been surprised by hs conferences, and the "militancy" aspect of homeschooling. AND, I love the Wiggles, too! They're, like, my FAVorite band! LOL. In fact, when it came time to give away my daughter's early childhood videos, I kept the Wiggles. There are just some occasions in life that call for that kind of music... oh wait, I'm supposed to be encouraging you to homeschool by showing you that not all homeschoolers are freaks... Oops. Well, the others are much saner than I ;)
Good luck with your decision.
Great blog!
We maintain a list of "Evolved Homeschoolers" at http://www.odonnellweb.com/wiki/pmwiki.php
I love Doc, too. There really ARE homeschoolers who aren't wackadoos. Really. I haven't written much detail about homeschooling on my blog yet, but you are welcome to come visit and be in like-minded company.
Welcome to the fold.
Hey,
I also came over from Doc's. I'm Meg and I'm also a little more on the 'normal' curve.
I don't have the resources that Doc has, but wanted to let you know that there are more of us out here than you were thinking.
There are some non-fundie based conferences out there. I've found a wonderful one up in Chicago, though I'm guessing that's too far for you. Try looking for unschooling conferences - most of the ones I've found don't care if you do something more structured, and are a heterogeneous population in general.
Good luck!
This comment has been removed by the author.
trying again to comment! There is no edit feature :P
There is a yahoogroup that might help in finding secular homeschoolers "locally". I hang out on that list for the curriculum discussions and to know that I'm NOT all by myself!! I often see people post "anyone in my area" posts :)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/secular_homeschoolers/
Good luck!
Wow! What a nice surprise this morning to see so much support! I must confess, I saw the number of comments and feared there may be a backlash from folks who either hate the idea of homeschooling and wanted to tell me what a child-hating idiot I am, or from fundamentalist homeschoolers who are offended by my bald-faced statements that they make me uncomfortable. There may be one from a compound warning me to lock my doors, too.
Yah, that's right, I'm in a perception-evolving state right now.
So, I am even more happy to read such supportive, hip comments. THANKS!
MB - I have found an inclusive group in the southern Valley. You must know where I mean. Still not quite my home, but close enough I suppose. I have yet to meet them, and my schedule is such that most parkdates/etc. are when I work, and my husband is either a hermit or some folks wish he were (loveable curmudgeon that he is). Still, through e-mail they seem like nice folks. Please do send along recommendations! I think you can e-mail me through my profile?
The rest (I am supposed to be working, after all) - again, thanks! I *will* visit the blogs you've so kindly invited me to. Cod - I think I've visited "evolved homeschoolers" and liked what I saw.
I'll be blunt, it's a piece of cake. Where I live HS requires 4-hours a day, 180 days a year. My child is tested in 5th, 7th & 9th grade to ensure she's up-to-speed.
To give you a fairly comprehensive idea:
I home school all year round. I purchase grade-level work-books at the office supply store so I have an idea where the people who test think she should be in her education.
I use a couple of outside "homeschool" teachers to teach things I cannot. One is a vocal coach (choir) and the other teaches Art and Art History (she's got a Masters in Fine Arts). As my daughter continues to self-progress in Japanese (which I don't speak) I'll get her a Japanese tutor before she goes too far off the rails in her pronunciation.
I teach the "big five:" Math, Language Arts, Reading, Science and Social Studies. Progress has been outstanding and she just finished "5th grade."
In Math she's just about completed course work for 6th grade (pre-Algebra). In math I use commercial work-books. Her production, despite just 4-hours of math a week, is twice that than she was expected to accomplish in her MAGNET middle school which averaged 10 hours (class and homework)/week. I also create my own word problems based on real-world situations. And, lastly, I have a computer program that generates work-pages for all-types of math - fractions, basic operations regarding large polynomials, algebraic equations, etc.
In Language Arts she writes at least one story a week. She is also required to write one essay about anything she chooses once a week. I also buy Language Arts work-books at least one-grade level ahead of where she's "supposed" to perform.
In Reading, at times she's being taught out of a Teacher's Edition collegiate freshman literature textbook similar to the one I used in college. I have her read one of the short-stories then we discuss the plot and the meaning she took from the story. We then check this relative to the standard answer to see if we "got it." I also buy her a lot of books which she picks out (subject to parental approval).
Science, OTOH, is taught through the process of exploration. My daughter will think of a question she wants answered. Then she'll find the answer and write it up. She'll also make a brief oral presentation to what she found. Her last question was: "Do deaf people hear themselves talk when they think?" That took a lot of research. And I learned something new because I had no clue.
In social studies we drastically avoid the "U.S. IS GOOD" type of history. Rather, I have her read books like "The Lies Your History Teacher Taught You" so she can learn the truth behind the bullshit we tell ourselves. The last big project was on the Colombian Exchange and the Genocide of the Arawak Indians in the Caribbean.
I'll say the math is her least favorite subject. It's also taught the most top-down. Her favorite subject is science, which is the most self-directed. But even with the more "top-down" subject of Math being "schoolish" she loves homeschooling far more than traditional schooling.
And, the best part is, she's learning more material, faster and better. With more free time and no homework while avoiding the dysfunctional, authoritarian school society which she'd otherwise be forced to navigate.
And, despite it seeming that I'm a bit control-freak on the process, the fact is that in every subject she has input. Her choices may be limited in scope at times, but she has choices. For example, if she doesn't want to do complex fractions one day, no problem, we'll come back to them. Instead we'll do dividing large polynomials. Or factoring. Or do some series work.
Anyway, I ramble.
You can do it. They're yours and you know them best.
And keep in mind that in those playgroups, there are Christian women who try to balance the militant nutbars with grace and mercy to everybody. :S
My partner and I are homeschooling our 12-year-old daughter. We don't fit in with the Christian home school crowd, either.
Although culture, school violence, lack of quality education were all part of the equation, what pushed us into homeschooling was the fact that our child was profoundly behind in school. She was placed in our home two years ago (we are trying to adopt) and she wasn't even working at a kindergarten level.
We tried the public school route for half a year, and their "solution" to our child's problem was to put her in fifth grade for part of the day (where she understood nothing) and kindergarten for part of the day (where she was humiliated beyond belief) in the hopes that she would somehow, magically, catch up.
After watching her complete lack of progress at school, and discovering she was learning more at home, we brought her home and enrolled her in the public charter school that supports home schoolers.
The program isn't perfect, but considering that our daughter is now working at fourth grade, when in September 2006, she couldn't read, write, or count, we are thrilled.
Not all home schoolers are religious zealots. Some are just "normal" people trying to give their kids a decent education.
Though really, I wouldn't consider our family normal, either. We are queer, self-employed, and Jewish. I have a blog, feel free to stop by if you are so inclined.
Just one more voice telling you: You Are Not Alone!
We live in the humid SE but there are many of us who are Paganish and feel a little...disturbed...by the emphasis on Biblical Womanhood, pasty, whitebread, fireless homeschooling and child-rearing. I don't blog much about homeschooling but we live on a wee farm in rural NC and are Crunchy Homeschoolers. When it comes to curricula just keep reading and keep your kids reading until you figure out where you're going...and Saxon sucks, FWIW.
Tina
Personally, I have seriously contemplated home schooling my brood. My oldest son has some pretty serious issues that very frequently interfere with his ability to function "normally" at school outside of his classroom, basically anywhere when he isn't in his desk in front of his "usual" teacher. I don't however, simply because I live where "The Promise" is. I want my kids to go to college and "The Promise" will pay part, or all for my younger two, of their tuition for a state college when they graduate high school. That's motivation to keep them in. I'm also a pagan and I have found that, unfortunately, most home schooling associations are very Christian based, though I'm not really sure why. Anyway, best of luck to you in your trip down this road. I found you through Doc's site, and I'll be following you from now on.
I'm twelve years in-my first is heading to college in the fall. It has been the greatest ride of my life. We are not Christian, but we are normal and nice. I think.
Do it for your kids! And do it for yourself.
We've been on this path for 15 yrs. My oldest is in college in NYC, has traveled to Mexico and Argentina.
The youngest is 16 and is busy busy busy.
There are, I think, as many styles and reasons for home educating as there are people who do it. Whe we first started, someone told me that she was surprised that we were so "normal." She thought that home schoolers were either religious fanatics or hippies living in bused at the side of the road.
We are just folks who have chosen a life style that works for our family. If you need encouragement, there are lots of us out here.
And we promise we won't make you sign a statement of faith unless you want to :-)
My blog pal Nance and I are part of the super-secret Thinking Homeschool Parent cabal too, come browse our blog, happy to have you. To be precise we've been unschooling for 15 years or so, not schooling at home or "schooling" at all -- as you get into all this, you'll start to see important differences (in thinking, tone and politics, not just teaching and learning) between that, and what might be characterized as church school at home. :)
JJ
I did a variation of Moses' way of deciding what to teach. I went online to 30 different state education websites and looked at what was taught in each grade. Then I went up to Canada and searched their provincial websites for the same information. At that point (with at least 35 different opinions of what a 6 year old child should know) I decided that my own opinion was as good as all of theirs, and I could relax. My child is now 17 and only 18 credits away from her AA degree. We held a high school graduation for her at the end of May and she plans to finish her AA next fall. You can do this. It isn't hard.
Annette, also a Doc fan.
Hello KZ --
Oh, what a delicious time! A little frightening but now you have all these options. Not just the one option -- cart the kids to school. You can actually control (as reality allows :) ) your own days! What a glorious way to live!
Enough exclamation points? :)
But, really, none of the schoolish ideas you have -- none of them and we all have them as they have been beaten into our brains our whole lives -- need to apply to your lives as homeschoolers. Question everything! You're a scientist, you'll like it. :)
You and SAHD (and isn't that a wonderful thing for your children!) do not have to follow any particular curriculum or feel overwhelmed at having to "do school" or have to worry about keeping the kids on any level or other. You should, imo, comply with your state's hsing laws because it's usually too easy not to.
You have probably already read up on the laws in your state. Desert SW huh? Well, I'll guess AZ. If so, all you have to do is file a letter of intent as I read the info at the NHEN site (a good one btw) -- http://www.nhen.org/leginfo/detail.asp?StateCode=Arizona
Exactly everything beyond that letter is up to you and your family. (Substitute appropriate state and law as needed. ;) )
Which is a scary proposition but also so full of possibilities and fun!
And it is summer! The perfect time to "deschool." You can lounge around reading (ha!) or play and not feel guilty about "doing nothing." Then, if you can hold onto that feeling of not feeling guilty, you can continue to "do nothing" forever! Really!
This "nothing" will include learning about everything that you and your family find interesting, of course. You won't be able to stop that. You know your kids are bright and really never stop learning. If you want to be more formal about it, that will come up in its own time. If not, that's OK too.
The key thing to remember now is not that feeling of "I can't do it" but that there is nothing schoolish that you have to "do." Your goal is not to scoop up bits and pieces of miscellaneous information and cram them into your kids' heads. But to allow them the time and freedom and resources and opportunities to learn and absorb and experience what they personally need.
It's different from school. It's very different. We are all outliers -- even the annoying fundies -- but we are all out here together.
JJ wrote a wonderful piece called "Affiliated Indepence" at the NHEN site. http://www.nhen.org/member/join.asp?id=387
It can be read to apply tightly to the regulatory issues we often discussed at NHEN's forums or more broadly to the way many of us live as hsers. I hope you like it. :)
And you might want to look at the New Homeschoolers page at NHEN -- yes, I'm partial to that site as a resource -- http://www.nhen.org/newhser/default.asp?id=227
You will find even more links to discussions about the different approaches to hsing. We are unschoolers, as you might have guessed, but you will craft you own way as you need to.
Welcome to the wonderful world of homeschooling! :)
Nance
You'll be great! I was a geek in high school, most of my friends were boys, and I have a degree in biology from Caltech. It's been a bit of an adjustment hanging out with the moms, but it's working. I'm homeschooling my two sons (5 and 2).
The secret to finding the normal people is to look for groups that label themselves as "secular" or "inclusive" (sometimes "inclusive" isn't quite enough, though). You'll find a huge mix of types in these groups, including religious people who want their kids to grow up interacting with people who are different from them. I've also found that unschooling types are more likely to be normal, but that could just be where I live (and of course plenty of non-unschoolers are normal too). Here in Utah, the "inclusive" group I hang with includes all sorts of "other" spiritualities, and that really doesn't come up much because none of us think it is or should be a huge point.
Search for inclusive / secular local yahoo groups and ask some questions. I've found homeschoolers to be enthusiastic about answering questions.
Also a woman in a man's field- air traffic controller- and both my husband and I work shift work. I homeschool a 3rd and a 4th grader. It can be done with a smile if you can let go of a perfect house(still working on this) and keep your priorities straight(teach them to succeed in the world-both emotionally and career-wise). Time sometimes becomes and issue, but I have tried to incorporate my loves(tennis and reading) with the kiddos. The Christian extremists kill me. Doesn't their Bible say to love one another like mine? What about the fact that all of us are trying to do the best we can- maybe a little more support and a little less criticism. Stay away from Christian support groups even if you're a Christian- They do seem sooo militant. Good luck and enjoy this time in life. Soon enough the kids will be in college.
Katherine,
My sister Kelly is the most successful homeschooler I've known....honestly -- you'd love her and her mind.... here's her blog....which is pretty new, but I'd be happy to give you and J her number or email, her mind is an endless array of knowledge!
http://kayakityak.blogspot.com/
Good luck!
i think the key is to go into not worrying about what your label is. go into it with a goal that you're going to offer a specific educational experience.
somehow, these things turn into treatises on "god in the schools."
careful in focusing on the extremes, from either end of the spectrum.
i read something the other day where a professional pitcher is making his way through the minor leagues by pitching with both arms, which is unheard of.
for the first in a long time, a switch hitter was forced to bat against a person throwing from the same (which is a disadvantage and defeats the whole point of switch hitting).
the point is, the dad taught him to be ambidextrous since age 3 and felt like because he was homescooled, he could continue learning something that might be considered strange outside.
that's cool.
Check out http://boremetotears.blogspot.com/ or my blog for more non-religious or atheist blogging. :)
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